As the Gossip Turns
by degrassichick
Summary: She needed a cab. She needed sobriety. She needed Dan Humphrey. Alternate ending to Desperately Seeking Serena!


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Okay, so I SO didn't plan to write this, but after watching "Desperately Seeking Serena," the situation called for it.

**It's a cross-over, and it's kind of dorky...and you might be a little lost if you don't watch "As the World Turns," (yes, I'm a sixteen-year-old girl who watches a soap opera, sad, I know) but I hope you guys like it!**  
**This is just kind of my own version of how things could have played out differently after Serena left the bar after the conversation with Georgina's drug-dealer.**

**R&R and please, no flames!**

**_PS: I am so, so sorry that the spacing is so screwed up on this!! I wrote it on my Hotmail account, saved it to my drafts, and then copied and pasted it into word, and turned out way screwed up and I don't know how to fix it. I'm sorry!!_**

**_EDIT: Okay, so I attempted fixing it, and it looks okay in the preview, but if it looks like crap while actually posted, again, sorry!_**

**XO,**  
**DC**

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As the Gossip Turns

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Serena van der Woodsen glanced over her shoulder with Georgina Sparks, ex-BFF extraordinaire, sitting beside her the moment two new glasses of truth serum appeared in front of them on the counter. Two guys stood off behind them in the corner of the bar, they tipped their drinks towards the girls. No doubt where the drinks were from, now.

"The tall one's cute." Georgina laughed approvingly, hiccupping on her cosmopolitan.

He was in a black blazer, and he seemed more forward than the other, for he was the first to tip his glass.

"Mmhmm." Serena murmured sadly, thinking back to Dan.

God, what was he doing right now?

-

One hour and two drinks later, and Serena couldn't even remember what the back of her own hand looked like, too pumped up on the alcohol in her veins.

"No, I think we were Tiffany and Angel that night!" Georgina laughed manically in her Valley Girl accent as the two reminisced about the past.

"Oh my God." Serena sputtered out drunkenly, shaking her head in disbelief. She pushed her platinum hair back with her hand, resting her hand on her forehead, slumping her elbow onto the bar counter. "You could talk me into anything."

"You say that like it's a bad thing, S!" Georgina smirked, nudging her blonde friend with her perfectly manicured hand.

"Hey ladies." a cool voice said from behind the girls. Serena glanced over and saw the guy from earlier, the Cosmo guy. "Can we interest you in another round?"

She wasn't going to say that he was being forward. She had witnessed much, much worse from guys in the presence of her and Georgina. Much, much, _much_ worse.

It didn't stop her from shaking her head and saying, "No thank you." She had a boyfriend to go see.

Dan. She wanted Dan. She needed to see Dan. She loved Dan.

Georgina guzzled down the last of her Cosmo and shook her head quickly. "No, no. My American girlfriend," she flicked her hand down towards Serena, thickly implying an obviously fake Russian (French? What the hell was it?) accent. "She thinks the drinking leads to the _sex_." She heavily emphasized the word "sex," Serena could tell that it had something to do with the fact that Georgina obviously wanted some. Soon.

The guys laughed, however.

Why wouldn't they? Georgina was gorgeous, she was _funny_.

Serena knew she couldn't let Georgina hold the spotlight all for herself. She may be generous, but she was _not_ a saint.

"No, no, no," the bubbly blonde fires back in a fake Louisiana accent, her insides churning. "I wuddn't bein' rude. I just didn't wanna take anythang if I couldn't offer anythang in return."

Blair would murder her if she heard what poor grammar her best friend was using. And who she was using it in the presence of.

"We'd be happy with just one dance." the taller one said, his arm thrown over his shorter friend's shoulder. God, that guy was forward! The other one didn't even _talk_.

Serena glanced over towards Georgina, who was looking back at her with an almost threatening sparkle in her eyes, as if demanding that she dance with the boy. "I'm afraid I have two left feet."

She had to get out of here.

Georgina slapped her hand down on Serena's thigh, it stung up to her neck. "Dees ees vut vee uh practice for!" she clapped her hands up in the air. "Come on, lady!"

Serena loosened up quickly.

"OPAH!" they cried out together.

Apparently they were Greek.

Georgina laughed in a drunken haze. "We're gonna have so much..." she stopped herself short at the sound of her cell phone ringing, she grabbed her phone off of the table and pulled it to her ear.

Serena attempted to grab it from her. "Who is it?"

"Um, no one." Georgina shot back quickly, no traces of her Russian-Greek-French accent remained. "Thank you for calling back so--"

Serena wrangled the phone away from Georgina's grasp. There was no way she was letting her have all the fun tonight. She quickly pulled it to her own ear, her Louisiana accent thicker and more helium-filled than ever. "Baby the Beauty Queen!" she cried out with an exaggerated cheerfulness. "How can I help you?"

The voice that muttered back at her was less than willing to play along. "I don't have time for this. You want one G or two?"

Serena felt her heart sink into her stomach, the smile wiped off her face instantly and she let Georgina take the phone from her.

"Give me that." Georgina viciously snapped at her friend.

"Some dealer you know?" Serena fired back at her, venom dripping from her voice in disgust.

Georgina stood up from her stool and stared at Serena in disbelief. "I didn't realize I brought my _grandmother_."

_Unbelievable_, was the only word scrolling through Serena's head. And it was going through as if on a scoreboard, in flashing neon colors of green, fuchsia, aqua, and yellow. How could she have _ever_ left with Georgina? Why had she agreed to come? What the fuck was wrong with her?! She stood up alongside Georgina. "I have to go," she said hurriedly, turning away from Georgina and her two followers.

The taller of the guys, because it always seemed to be him, latched onto her hand. "Hey."

She whipped around quickly, sending him the nastiest look that her barely-there brain could muster up, before she turned and stalked away from the three of them.

She needed a cab. She needed sobriety. She needed _Dan Humphrey_.

* * *

She grabbed onto her cell phone as she stumbled out of the noisy bar. "I'm so stupid." she mumbled in disbelief, rocking her body up against the brick wall of the building. "I'm so-"

"Hey." a familiar voice said from behind her.

She turned around sharply and it was the tall guy from the bar.

Again.

What was his problem?!

"Look, are you _stalking_ me or something?" Serena snapped at him.

He shook his head quickly. "No..."

"Could have fooled me." she rolled her eyes, crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're wasted," the guy noted, laughing a humorless laugh.

She scoffed. "And you're observant." she muttered bitterly. "Now that we know the obvious, could you _please_ inform me why you_ followed_ me out here?"

"I wasn't sure if you would be smart enough to hail a cab."

She rolled her eyes. "Wow. Your confidence in me is overwhelming, I've gotta admit."

"Maybe a cab ride isn't best for you right now." he murmured apprehensively, resting his hand on her arm only to have it ripped away a second later.

"Get away from me, creep!" she exclaimed, bouncing away from him and glaring. "Look," she seethed, "I have a boyfriend. His name is _Dan_. He may not be a UFC fighter or anything, but he _can_ throw a punch." Her voice got louder, a finger shot into the air. "And if he finds out that you've spent the last hour and a half _stalking_ me, he'll-"

"I'm gay!" the guy cried back out at her.

Serena's finger fell, before she realized what a dumbass she was being for falling for that lie. Her finger shot back up quickly. "Like I haven't heard that one before!"

"How many time's have you heard that line before and had it be true?" the guy shot back at her, not flinching, tensing up, or fidgeting at the fact that she had called him out as a fake-gay.

"Psht." she snorted, shaking her head. "_Never,_ obviously. And I've heard it many, many times."

"Well, now you've heard the line _and_ had it be true." the guy responds, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Serena. "Speed dial number two, my boyfriend."

She rolled her eyes. "It'll be your brother or your dad or best friend or something." she muttered, shoving the phone against his chest. "No thanks." she stepped closer towards the street. "TAXI!"

The guy appeared next to her again after no taxi appeared in front of the blonde.

"I don't have a brother, I can't stand my dad, and my best friend _is_ my boyfriend." he argued, pushing the phone back in to her hand. "Speed dial number two."

She scoffed, glaring up at the boy, before hitting the number-two key and holding the phone to her ear.

It picked up after the first ring.

"Noah! Where the hell are you?! You haven't been answering your phone and Ameera said she hasn't seen you since this afternoon...!" the guy on the other end's voice cried out.

Serena gulped, glancing up at the boy in front of her. _Are you Noah_? she mouthed. He nodded, smiling smugly. He knew he had been proven right.

"Uh..." she fumbled into the phone. "Are you Noah's boyfriend?"

Noah placed his hand on his forehead, raking a hand through his dark hair.

"Who is this?" the guy on the phone's voice asked quickly, alert. "Ameera? If this is you than that is pretty messed up on your end, you _know_ I'm with Noah and..."

"Here's Noah." she mumbled, cutting off the boy and handing the phone back to Noah. She was almost positive that her cheeks were beet red with embarrassment as Noah tried to calm down his boyfriend.

Real boyfriend. Not fake boyfriend.

"Luke, its a long story..." Noah said hurriedly into the phone, "yes, of course I'll explain everything to you when I get back!...Ameera is going to be finished moving into her place tomorrow morning and I will catch the first flight to O'Hare right after she's situated...yes...I love you, too...I'll be back tomorrow...you better be at the airport when I get there and there better be a sign in your hands!" After a few more laughs, mumbled phrases, and one more "love you," Noah slid his phone back into his pocket and glanced up at Serena with a raised eyebrow. "You know, you should never assume."

She had a feeling where this was going, she rolled her eyes in advance.

"It just makes an ass out of U and ME...but pretty much just you in this situation."

She let out a sigh, brushing her hair out of her forehead. "You were trying to pick me up in a bar. How did you expect me to believe that you were gay after that?"

Noah laughed, shrugging. "I don't know. I wouldn't have believed me either. But it's a long story, I can tell you that."

Serena glanced over her shoulder as three yellow taxis all zipped by the pair of them, one after another. "You can walk me to the Plaza. We've got time."

* * *

"So, I came here with Ameera to help move her into her own apartment." Noah finished as the pair rounded off Central Park. The walk had sobered Serena up somewhat decently, her head was no longer buzzing.

"But are you still going to be married to her?" Serena asked, puzzled, glancing up at him.

Noah had just finished the story of the past year of his life, from the moment he met Luke, his boyfriend, to the point where he started dating Luke, his boyfriend, to the part where Noah's father shot Luke, his boyfriend, to when he helped Luke, his boyfriend, to get over his paralysis, to when he and Luke, his boyfriend, met Ameera, who was a girl from Iraq who had known his father, to the part where he had agreed to marry Ameera in order to let her stay in the United States with a Marriage Visa, even though he was still totally in love with Luke, his boyfriend. And then it had gotten into how he had come to Brooklyn with Ameera to help her move in to her own apartment and he had met Matt, who lived next door to Ameera and asked Noah if he woud like to go out and grab a few drinks while their wives were out of the apartments. Noah had reluctantly agreed, failing to mention that he was underage.

But, hell, so was Serena.

She couldn't wrap her head around the "boyfriend" factor, obviously. Even though the pair of them sounded incredibly adorable together. But, his whole story sounded like it was written for a soap opera.

"By name only." Noah responded quickly. "I mean, I care about Ameera and all, really, I do, and I want her to be happy. But I just want to be with Luke, that's all I really care about at this point."

Serena let out a fluttery sigh, tumbling against Noah. "Aww."

It suddenly made her think about her own Luke, a boy who judged quickly and would take a bullet for her at any moment. A boy who she loved more than anything. A boy who she needed to see.

"Uh, Noah..." Serena murmured, glancing up at him.

He glanced down back at her. "What?"

"You said that Ameera's apartment was in Brooklyn, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

"Think I could accompany you over there?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "There's someone I really need to see."

And off they went.

* * *

"So, Oakdale sounds very..._hunky dory_." Serena laughed awkwardly, as the duo appeared in front of a large brownstone that belonged to none other than the Humphrey clan.

"Ah, yes, hunky dory is always the operative word." Noah laughed. He had just finished telling her about his hometown, which was a small town in Illinois.

She laughed back at him, she didn't really know what else she could do. "But, you moved around all the time, so why do you call it your hometown?"

He smiled dazedly, glancing down at the pavement beneath his feet. "Because Luke's there."

Her heart hammered happily. "The two of you are just..._adorable_!" she giggled, amazed at how quickly this nineteen-year-old army brat brightened up her evening.

Noah smirked. "So you've said...multiple times."

She nudged him with her elbow. "Shut up. I'm just expressing myself."

That's when she heard it.

"_Serena_?"

Her head popped up and she didn't think she has ever felt so elated to see Dan.

"DAN!" she exclaimed, racing into his arms. "I am so sorry for being so secretive...and for having Chuck lie for me...and everything...and, oh my God, I can't stop kissing you!" she squealed, planting peck after peck on his face.

"Are you _drunk_?" he asked, pulling her away from her and eyeing her suspiciously.

"I'm sobering up." she responded confidently, glancing over her shoulder at Noah and smiling at him happily. "Totally sobering up."

Dan glances over his girlfriend's shoulder and instantly stiffens. "Who is this?" he asks curiously, although sounding more pissed off than curious.

"This is Noah." she says quickly, gesturing towards the brown haired boy behind her. "He's gay! His boyfriend's Luke!"

"Alcohol makes you bold." Noah laughs nervously, but nods. "She told me to walk with her to Brooklyn so she could see her boyfriend, I was just doing what I was told." he says, smiling shortly.

"Thanks for getting her out of...wherever she was." Dan responds, smiling stiffly. Noah and Serena can both spot the gratitude sparkle twinkling in his eyes, though.

Noah gives Serena a small smile before he brushes past the love-struck couple, Serena's arms around Dan's shoulders, Dan's arms around her waist. "See you around, Serena."

Serena watches him walk off before breaking out of Dan's grasp. "Noah!" she calls out, hurrying after him.

Noah turns around, sending her a curious look.

"Memorize this number," she says quickly, "555-7823." she recites off her phone number.

"555-7823." he repeats.

She nods proudly, smiling. "Make sure Luke memorizes it too." she laughs.

Noah smirks. "Will do...after he gets over the shock of some random drunk girl calling his cell phone on _my_ phone late at night."

Serena nods, smiling. She holds her hand out to him. "Noah Mayer, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

He smirks at her, sliding his hand into hers and shaking. "Why Serena van der Woodsen, I must say that I do agree."

She laughs, rubbing her right hand over left hand. "That line was from Casablanca, you know." she laughs, thinking back to him telling her his obsession with classic films, an obsession so similar to her own.

He laughs, nodding. "Yeah, I know."

She smiles as she backs up towards her boyfriend, who wraps his arms around her waist and ppulls her up against his chest, resting his chin atop her head. "Just checking."

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**Ta-da!**  
**Anyways, I hope you guys liked it!**  
**It's probably a little bit less confusing if you've actually seen a few Luke/Noah episodes of "As the World Turns," but I hope that you weren't too lost!**

**R&R and please, no flames!**

**XO****  
****DC**


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